Monthly Archives: April 2012
A stupid sign at Bill’s Pub in Mundelein, IL
There’s nothing on my plate that wouldn’t give you a heart attack or diabetes. The closest thing to health food on the table is coffee with sugar. Yeah. I ate it anyway.
Drank waaaay too much last night: It’s one of those “Oh good, there are my keys.” kinda’ mornings. Glad it’s not one of those “Oh fuck! Where the fuck are my keys!! Shit! Shit! Shit!” mornings.
In the early years, most of parenting revolves around protecting your kid from your stuff and your stuff from your kid.
"Braille and Picture Menus Available" Sign at McDonald's Drive-Thru Window”
Before I get into this story, some background facts: At the time of this story, I had lost about 30 lbs since becoming a flexitarian seven weeks earlier. I had plumbers dig a (stinky) hole in my basement to install … Continue reading
Parenting a toddler and honesty are nearly strangers in my house.
Trying is the first step toward success…and failure—don’t forget about the failure part.
If you don’t want to know the truth about the Easter Bunny, stop reading now. Okay. The truth: There is no Easter Bunny, of course. As everyone over the age of seven can guess, in my house, my wife and … Continue reading